Several years ago some Australian friends of mine (Deb and Alan Hirsch) introduced our staff to an image that has easily become the most prominent metaphor for how we describe our faith community. The story they told was about the way many ranchers contain their flocks and herds by building fences on the periphery of their property. It’s a logical and practical way for the sheep to know their boundaries, and for the ranchers to know where and how far the sheep can roam. Most importantly, it delineates one rancher’s flock from the next farm over. It means the livestock are easy to manage and easy to contain.  

The problem, they described, is in places like the Australian Outback where the land is so wild and vast, that building a fence is expensive and impractical. In these scenarios, instead of building fences the farmers dig a deep well, the flock’s reliable source of water, in the center of the property. From there the rancher trusts the sheep won’t wander too far from that which gives them life. The social theory behind this is a “centered set” as opposed to a “bounded set” and the way Crossings has designed our community around a well, rather than a fence, impacts almost everything we do, including how we approach small groups.      

We know people are looking for connection. We also know people are busy. The truth is, people are finding genuine community all over the place: gyms, book clubs, neighborhood groups, playgrounds, sports, socio-political efforts, etc. We can try to convince ourselves these groups and efforts toward connection are lacking something that we, the enlightened people of faith, have to offer, but that’s not usually the case. In many of these places people are finding support and friendship and deep connection and often, less pressure and judgment.     

One option is to view these extra-church communities as competition or distractions from the life of our faith communities. We could set up fences and require our sheep to stay within our boundaries (fences) of participation, membership, etc. But our well is the Story of God and the ways of Jesus, and we trust that to be the source of life for our people. It means the people in our faith community are not easy to manage or contain, and as it turns out, they don’t want to be.  

What this means for our small groups is that we’ve taken the pressure off. We’ve stopped trying to force the church to be people’s primary social group. We’ve learned that many of our people have had enough bad experiences with small groups or just aren’t interested in long term commitments they can’t get out of. We’ve learned that many of our people are serving their neighborhoods and communities in really beautiful ways and we don’t want to pull them away from that work. 

Do people leave Crossings to find a different faith community that has “more to offer” with groups and programming and for their kids? Yes. Do we have people thank us and tell us they are at Crossings because we don’t pressure them into a bunch of church busyness? Yes. It’s also possible that in five years we might go back to a more traditional or centralized small group model based on the needs and interests of our community. The process is always evolving.

Outside of our Sunday gatherings, we cast a wide net and consider many points of connection that happen between people in our community as something to pay attention to. We have generous definitions and qualifications for what we consider “Crossings groups,” and our groups are always ad hoc and evolving.

Some of the ways we categorize these groups include: 

1) Session groups that follow the academic calendar and change every season. Every summer, spring, and fall we come out with a list of groups our people have suggested and offered to lead. These are low-barrier and low-commitment. Some session groups meet every week, some every other week, and some just a few times over the course of the semester. We take a lot of shots on goal, because sometimes we miss. There are semesters when a group is offered and no-one is interested, but offered a year later and it’s full. Every semester we are clear with session group leaders that “It’s not you. It’s everyone. Don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t work this time.” Some semesters we have six session groups to offer, some semesters we have one or two.

Session groups have ranged from studies on specific books of the Bible, pickleball, a best-burger-in-Knoxville-quest, discussions around podcasts, card clubs, book groups, playground groups, dog-meetup groups, beer groups, board game groups, and one of my favorites: a group that road the city bus around town to help people see the benefits and become more comfortable with public transportation. 

Some session groups are directly spiritual, some are not. Some of them include people who will probably never step foot in our church. These groups are self-organized and self-led. We let our people call the shots and check in to see what support they need. We give recommendations about how to best communicate with people, but unless they ask for help, we are pretty hands-off. 

2) Ongoing session groups and semi-annual connection opportunities that gather around a common purpose like our session groups, but they don’t have a designated endpoint. The groups stay the same but people come and go. We have a Justice Group that has met for over six years, a book club that has met since the beginning of Crossings, and a group of folks who have been marginalized or hurt by the church who meet to support one another in their faith journeys. We have events throughout the year like a chili dinner, a river day, and Greenhouse (leadership) events. While these aren’t technically “small groups” they are opportunities for people within our faith community to connect on a deeper level if that’s what they’re looking for. 

3) Traditional small groups meet regularly with the same group of people for study, to share about their lives, to take care of one another, to pray for one another, etc. We don’t dictate what these groups should be doing. They are made up of different people who have different needs, and we trust they are capable of deciding for themselves what they need, and to reach out when they need help. We only have about 5-6 of these groups. 

4) Cave.Table.Road is our one highly controlled group that meets for six months each year. I lead this cohort through the three movements of Celtic monastic life that engages 1) self & God 2) self & other 3) self & world. Cave.Table.Road is part spiritual direction, part self-reflection, part class, within a group committed to one another for six months. 

We know people fall through the cracks between these groups. We know some people just aren’t interested. We don’t track attendance or count how many people are in groups at one time. We try to pay attention and listen well to the needs and questions of our community, and evolve based on what we notice. 

One critique of this model might be, “But if people are only out doing fun things together, how are you creating disciples or promoting spiritual depth?” which is a fair concern. But we also know that most likely, people aren’t going to become disciples or go deeper spiritually if they don’t want to. It also takes seriously the suggestion that easy connection and play and laughter can be a holy thing. We have a pathway for spiritual depth (Cave.Table.Road) if people want it. But Jesus didn’t push or force deeper connection and neither can we. We’ve decided it’s simply our job to dig the deep well, to set the table, and break bread with whomever God happens to bring to the table in that season.